LEE MEICHAN
221289; ;*
student; ;*
Radin Mas, Clementi Town, Ngee Ann Polytechnic; ;*
singapore; ;*
hotmail • friendster •
In a night, I experienced disgust, excitement, shock, embarrassment and sting. I must say, I didn't know how to react.
Before I know how to react, I just want to stop and do nothing...
But nonetheless, I'm thankful for what it makes me today. You taught me the importance of kinship and setting priority for your love ones. You taught me to grow up and be a mature thinker. Even the very last lesson of letting go of the past we used to share, you also taught me through your marriage like daggers with sharp edges.
11:03 PM
I promise to hand my heart over to someone who genuinely cares.
And someone who will handle it with care because it's fragile.
4:47 PM
I need to quit this bad habit of mine and that is
.
11:30 AM
over the past 4-5 months since July to now, often phrases such as,
why must I go through all these?
If I have a choice, can I just let go?
if this is part of growing up, can I say no to it?
why is there a need to go through this?
why must I suffer these?
kept floating through my mind.
Encouragement goes,
Meichan, you're a fighter, why let go when you have hung on there for so long?
don't give up, I'm sure you can!
tell yourself, you can do it!
Tell yourself you can make
Answers like,
What if I say I don't want to grow up?
What if I say I don't want to try any more?
Why must I hang on there when I obviously can't any more?
what if this is not what I want?
I don't want any more, I don't want to continue any more.
What if I don't want to make it anymore?
what if i can't hang on anymore?
if hanging on there is so difficult, maybe give up is a better opinion.
are answers that I kept giving myself.
I begin to question.
I even question GOD.
God where are you? why have you forsaken me? why have you leave me in the lurch and see me all torn and crumpled all by myself?if this is what you want for me, then where are you? Why are you not guiding me?
After several months of struggling,
God I know, you are preparing me.
Preparing me for the better one.
Often, it's not a choice given or chosen but it is a process.
A process that everyone needs to go through but it's a matter of time
Sometimes you are delayed where you are because God knows there is a storm where you are headed. Trust his timing.
Dear GOD, Continue to craft me into your PERFECT PLAN with your PERFECT TIMING!
Lastly, KENNY,
I want to thank you.
Thank you for leaving me at the time when I needed most support and lending shoulder.
Thank you for leaving me so harshly without even having your head turn back and look at me for just once.
Thank you for leaving me when I was at my hardest time.
Thank you for not showing a word of concern despite know shits that I had to gone through in my life.
Thank you for founding a girlfriend so fast because that makes moving on fast and quicker.
And of course, thank you for all the precious memories that you've given me. Though it may be short, but I'm sure we both had a great time and enjoyed the companionship that we both need.
Be it if I was just a passer by who fill in the gap, or you had really fall for me or treated me like a substitute of Alicia, but still thank you for all the meticulous thoughts. goodbye my lovable friend.
2:21 AM
Sometimes if trying so hard to make it yours, maybe it's just not meant to be yours.
11:05 PM
when pooh met mickey, they lived happily ever after...
but apparently, it didn't last and it ended awfully..
:'((
8:35 PM
if only life can
you won't be that of painful and as bad...
12:48 AM
everyone has a ruler to measure everything.
but no one has the right to use their own ruler on others.
no one has the right to make decide for other.
you have no right to make decision for me!
you just forfeited my rights.
WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE FOR ME?
IT'S MY RIGHT TO KNOW AND CHOOSE!
so what happen to me when i discover years later.
there's nothing that I do!
But just regrets.
10:38 PM
Christmas has been something that i begin to
In the past, I enjoy christmas.
preparation of carolling, preparation of dancing and performance.
yes, I still do enjoy the christmas sales that every store has,
buying stuffs at such a cheap price as compared to original price.
However, christmas is just a reminder to me.
showing how nasty can human become and practical can one get to.
God, this isn't what I want to see.
Why show me the ugliest side of the world, when life is tough enough.
1:18 AM
All I want is just a plain love, just like a plain jane.
Not something that happen in drama, so exaggerating..
Not someone of a different nationality, crossing over cultural differences, religious difference...
Not someone of a huge age gap of mine,
Not someone that I need to struggling so much within myself.
Not someone that I need worry over financial problem for.
It's just too much for me.
So where is my someone?
So where is my someone?
10:22 PM
What we need are just different.
7:06 AM
There's so much that I want to change,
all i need is courage and guts to fulfill them.
The world out there is so much more different,
I know there may be hidden awfulness but i want to try.
At least, I try.
12:40 AM
Remember watching a show on pawning, not things but feelings and relationships between people,
Now I wish can too,
If there is a choice,
I want to pawn away my silly memories and
2:29 AM
"Xuan Xuan Meimei, Come! Come and play with me!", said Child D
So sweet of Her to always take care of her "Xuan xuan meimei".
:DDDD
12:14 AM
I'm trying hard enough,
But it doesn't pay good to do so...
I decided to let it go then.
9:56 PM
It's driving me nuts!
Concert performance,
syllabus,
EVERYTHING is just going down down!:(
9:07 PM
Colouring of phonics: Unchecked.
laminating of the letters: Unchecked.
preparing lesson resource: Checked.
cutting and pasting for display: Unchecked.
homework from BC: Unchecked.
OMGGGGGGGG
CRAZINESS!
11:54 PM
